Satan: "Why is she naked?"
Maxim: "Sir, we got the office surrounded, if you wish to bring the boys in and take them out-"
Satan: "I'll handle it from here Maxim."
Outside the office door, shuffling of boots and chambering of weapons can be heard, only slightly muffled through the wood and glass.
Satan: "Wait, what's this about 'omitting past incursions?'"
Maxim: "It means forgetting the fucking war we just had up to 5 minutes ago!"
Satan: "Were we winning it?"
Maxim: "Well, we had a bodycount somewhere in the ballpark of millions."
Satan: "Then why stop now? We could really rank up those numbers."
Satan and Maxim stare at the two strangers.
Flesh Angel lets out a agitated sigh. "It doesn't matter how many of the feral hellspawn you slaughter. They shall rise indefinitely without regard to the status of their mortal coils.
And if you were to continue to gain a foothold inside hell, the organization I represent would have their hand forced into joining that war... against you.
This is why myself, Flesh Angel, and the leader of the most civil demonic faction inside hell, Priest, have come to negotiate an end to your incursion."
Priest nods nervously.
Satan: "Wait, your name is Flesh Angel?"
Maxim: "Ahem... I wrote it down on your uh... paper, there."
Satan: "Oh I thought this was what we have for lunch at the cafeteria..."
Maxim begins to sweat uncomfortably. "Sir..."
Satan: "Right... So, as what you just said uh... Flesh Angel... I-"
A smaller demon walks into the room.
Kanaan: "Blood Coffee, anyone?"
Maxim & Satan: "GET THE FUCK OUT!"
Kanaan is dragged into the hallway by the soldiers outside the room.
There is a moment of silence.
Satan: "Alright... listen... this war has gone on for long enough, and our boys have had time to let out their frustrations and generally... have a good time."
Satan nods, Maxim nods and they both look at Priest and Flesh Angel expectantly. "Right?"
"That is correct." "Yeah..."
Satan: "That said... we did have our casualties... and to be honest, I would strangle both of you, starting with the uh..."
Satan points at the Priest "The flaky one there, for all those lives lost... but for the sake of not letting more demon lives perish at the hand of... well.. you's, we'll call it quits."
Satan slams the table at the end of the sentence, clearly holding back rising anger.
Maxim smiles, twisting his face, showing all of his teeth. "Well said, sir!"
Priest does a nervous gulp while shuffling his hands together. "Uh... to clarify, Satan... these forces that have been attacking yours are not directly associated with us...
they're more like animals that we are forced to lived next to. When your people leave our area, they will not be able to follow due to their lack of... everything."
Flesh Angel gains a smug look and makes direct eye contact with Satan. "They usually keep busy by eating each other's skin but you devilish intimations were ringing a dinner bell in front of their faces."
Satan stands up, leaning over his table closer to the Priest's face. "So why the hell aren't you keeping those things in line? We do that to our animals at the slaughter,
it's called industry! The backbone of a stable society!"
Satan turns his nonexistent neck to Flesh Angel. "And you, maybe watch your fucking mouth, devilish imitations?"
Maxim: "She means we're fake demons."
Satan: "I know what the fuck she means, she better keep her fucking mouth shut, and you, Priest, i better not see any tricks coming from your people, we'll take our boys back"
Satan calms down, as he sits back down, and gives a weak shrug. "And perhaps... maybe open up some trade... maybe some back and forth... ya know."
Maxim: "Lord Satan is willing to offer services in exchange for two things, help in maintaining our infrastructure by engaging in the trade of various raw materials,
and as well the admitance that we are true demons."
Satan: "That's right, you're the fakes, not us, but it doesn't mean we couldn't maybe get along in a way that benefits both of us..."
Flesh Angel gives a incredulous glace at Priest.
Priest: "I... That is acceptable. I shall prepare a list of raw resources for your secretary to oversee. Er... I do not know how formal you would like this
admittance of lies by our species for claiming to be 'true demons' to be but I will prepare a letter declaring it so, if that is acceptable."
He looks to Flesh Angel and speaks in a hushed tone. "Please do not antagonize them... I believe you are accompanying me to do the opposite, correct...?"
Flesh Angel chuckles. "I was sent here to insure you are not harmed. But I shall not waste my breath on such things, if it resolves this matter in a quick fashion."
Satan: "I don't need a letter, just say it, right here, right now, but not from you, Fleshy Woman."
Flesh Angel's neutral face turns into a somewhat disguised look of contempt.
Satan turns to the Priest and leans back on his chair. "I want him to say it, to admit that he's not a true demon, and that we are..."
Maxim proudly perks up his chest and walks past Flesh Angel, out into the hallway with all the soldiers, walking past them. "I will bring the list of materials!"
The small demon Kanaan returns, finally being allowed through "Here's the list of casualties, fully updated after that uhh... snaffu with the nuke."
Kanaan hands a paper to Satan.
Priest glances over to Flesh Angel again, clearly becoming a bit annoyed at the thought of saying he isn't a true demon.
"I am not a true demon... I am the 'devilish intimation'. You and your people, Satan, are the true rightful demons."
Satan gives out a satisfied smile while he gets up from his chair (he really runs his people more like a mobster than a leader) and gives a friendly tap
to one of the priest's shoulders. "How about a blood coffee, uh?"
Satan turns to a distracted Kanaan. "Two coffees, stat."
He turns to Satan when he repeats the order. "Oh cmon, i just got here! Shieet..."
He leaves the office again, in search of two searing hot blood coffees.
Satan: "You're really quite something, huh Priest? You and your people... you could become something great if you really got all of your shit together..."
Satan's smugness is palpable and clearly visible, revealing really how proud of himself he is in that moment.
Priest seems to relax, though his nervousness is still somewhat visible. "I... do what I must for my people. While I'm sure you've lived for millions of years
as a successful ruler, our... society as very recently pulled by the roots. Hahaha..."
Priest's nervous face disappears, revealing a grin full of sharp teeth. "You know, our people used to be ruled by a being called SATAN until very recently.
We've imprisoned him in a black hole."
Flesh Angel sighed and put a hand on her hip. "Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer, Priest. You weren't directly involved with that operation, so don't brag about it."
His toothy grin disappeared and his usual nervous face returned. "Yes... of course."
Satan's expression goes cold, his muscles stiffen up slightly, he gives out a slight chuckle. "You people say the... damnest things... the one true Satan that put this...
great civilization together passed away long ago, you people truly must have mixed up your historical figures..."
Kanaan quickly came back with 2 plastic cups, filled with a borderline boiling hot reddish and thick liquid, close to tar in consistency and taste.
Satan: "Also... I'm only 42 years old..."
Satan picks up the two coffees and offers one of the to the Priest. Kanaan then turns towards the door and grab's Flesh Angel's attention for a moment,
one of her eight eyes following him.
As he nears the doorway he turns around and gives her finger guns with a satisfied chuckle.
Priest accepts the cup and begins to take a sip. The temperature doesn't bother him, but the tar-like consistency is new to him.
The information said catches up to his distracted brain. "You... You're 42?" A look of surpise flashes across his face upon saying it aloud.
He starts to chuckle. "Hahaha, I refuse to believe such a charismatic one such as you were born within a blink of a eye... I'm only around 50,000 years myself...
give or take a couple of years and bouts of memory loss..."
Satan's eyes widen "Shit... you're that old and still haven't found the horns to come and face me like a man?"
He puts one hand in his pocket and downs the coffee in one long sip "Guess those of us who burn the fastest burn the brightest, huh? Our lifespan is around...
give or take 90 to a 100..." Satan gives out a weak shrug as he ponders about life expectancy.
Kanaan adjusts his tie as he walks out. "Still got it!" He bumps into Maxim who just casually remarks "Still thinking you're the top hellhound huh?"
As Maxin walks into the office with a long list of materials, showcasing the desperate state that they find themselves in that they're running in low in things like iron,
basic things required for their heavy industrial society, he plops the paper down on the table by the Priest, seeming more like an extorsion racket than a trade deal.
Maxim's cold but slightly threatening tone seals the impression. "Make sure you fulfill your end of the deal and give us every last item on this list..."
Flesh Angel begins to scan through the pile of paper with each of her eyes reading the demands, taking only a second from each page.
Priest raises his eyebrow at this, to which Flesh Angel merely comments "Angel DNA gives me a near perfect memory. The eyes help too."
His eyebrow lowers and he takes another sip of the blood coffee, still grappling with the thought that this 'demon' lived the lifespan similar to human.
Flesh Angel stops reading through the pile and announces... "It's doable. Most of the raw materials can be found in the Anger Layer but you might have to
travel to a couple other layers of hell for the more rare items."
Satan: "Well that's great... but who said WE have to travel to get those? You do it... it's your realm after all..." Satan put his cup down and put his other hand in his other pocket.
"Wait did you just say Angel DNA?" Maxim's eyes widened, as he backed away, panicked, Satan stayed mostly in place, but still slightly fazed by the revelation.
All the soldiers in the hallway raised their weapons at Flesh Angel through the narrow office doorframe.
Flesh Angel doesn't notice their shock, still thinking of logistics that acquiring the materials would entail. "No... That was mostly directed to Priest...
I could probably convince some of the United Nations materials harvested there to be turned over... Hmm..."
She looks back up from the papers and notices the tension in the room. "Ah... what, did my name not give it away? Flesh. Angel. Well, not fully... there's a bit of... 'fake' demon and human in there too."
She gives a toothy smile towards the door. "I don't think it's very courteous to aim a weapon at a guest, Satan. There's a chance
I might feel threatened..." she aims her head towards Satan, losing her smile for a neutral face while the teeth on her head tentacles start to shuffle.
Satan: "I thought the whole angel thing was just... I don't know, you're a woman with a hundred eyes all over, so maybe like another weird thing about you... i didn't think it would-"
Satan was then interrupted by a panicked Maxim who grasped his shoulder. "Sir I do not want to alarm you but I do feel it would be a good idea to kill this... THING right here and now!"
Satan swiped Maxim's hand off his shoulder, before turning to the flesh angel, while gesturing to his soldiers to lower their weapons.
"Consider this one the last nicecity you'll get out of us..." Satan glances over to the priest, now with a frown "You should probably keep better company than this, simulacrum..."
He finally used the slur demons had for those who they deemed to be fake demons. "Either way you decide to go about it, get us those materials, and keep them coming, in return,
we won't finish the job, and on top of that" Satan slowly approached the Priest, taking a hand out one of his pockets, and placing it on his shoulder "You'll get some of our finest
industrial technology, that will surely help you get things on track." He let go of the priest and sat back on his chair while Maxim kept a close eye on the angel.
"O-Of course... " Priest set down his half finished blood coffee and gathered the list of demands. "We should return, Flesh Angel..."
She looked at him and nodded her head. "I concur. There is one last thing I must ask though..."
She turned her head back to Satan. "I require the cellular phone number of the small demon. It amuses me."
Satan gave a weary look to Maxim who just shrugged and said "Told him to keep his hands to himself, he wouldn't..."
Maxim looked down at his clipboard and sighed before giving his number away by saying it outloud, he hoped the small pumilio demon would finally learn his lesson if
this is what it took to get him to stop trying to be a fucking comedian. Both Satan and Maxim made no effort to wish them goodbye.
Flesh Angel smiled. "Satisfactory." She walked over to the door leaving the office, closing it then opening it, revealing a hallway of flesh and stars.
Priest adjusted his stack of papers and walked in behind Flesh Angel. After they were both through, the door silently closed by itself as the window inside it
showed the hallway the guards were standing in.
"What the fuck was that?!"
"Just forget it, magic shit, you know."
Priest sighed as he walked through the hallways beside Flesh Angel. "That could have gone better."
She let out a chuckle. "I could have turned that entire planet into a compressed ball of stone and flesh... I'd say it went well for them.
But you will give us some of these industrial technologies they lend to you. The scientists back at R&D will be ecstatic getting their hands on alien technology."
Priest gulped and followed Flesh Angel through another door, revealing the headquarters of the New Christian Republic. "As you wish..."
Satan laid back on his chair, as Maxim just leaned on the desk, looking down on his boss with a slightly worried expression "You think this was a good decision?
Not... you know, getting rid of them? They may still pose a threat."
Satan rubbed his eyes with his hand. "That Priest is a total pushover... he's no threat... that angel creature... maybe, but she's just one freak agaisnt a whole army."
Maxim smiled slightly as he blankly stared at a wall as he spoke "And thanks to these resources, it will only expand... and who knows... we may be able to re-enter their turf
and really get them out of the picture..." Maxim turned to face Satan once again, Satan simply shrugged.
Kanaan returned and asked "Hey... where did the freak go? I was gonna ask her if she wears glasses, where does she put 'em on, haha!"
Both demons looked at Kanaan with a slightly worried expression.